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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28729089">Weaponizing Pinecones</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyHallen/pseuds/LadyHallen'>LadyHallen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Crack, Crossover, Don't copy to another site, Don't repost, Gen, Humor, Snippet, Trolling!Kakashi, is this an isekai?, reincarnation in another universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:09:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>801</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28729089</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyHallen/pseuds/LadyHallen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi ends up in a forest.</p><p>The Forest would Like This Gremlin Child out of it, please.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kakashi &amp; Haldir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>319</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Weaponizing Pinecones</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The Prompt was: Crossover Naruto/Lotr prompt: Kakashi is killed but wakes up as an elfling/elf and is mistaken for one of Celeborn's kin. Que mollycoddling and Kakashi trying his best to get away from it all.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kakashi wakes up with a headache that reminds him of sparring with Gai. Usually, that is precluded by a lot of bad decisions. On it’s heels are regrets. Mostly for existing because his sore muscles makes him pay for it, but a lot of regrets.</p><p>And then, as his breathing deepens and he tries to sync his breathing with light chakra meditation, he realizes that one, his chakra no longer felt like lightning that threatened to go out of control if he should ever lose it, and two, his not-chakra circulated in a too small body.</p><p>With a jolt of panic, not that he would ever admit that though, Kakashi pushes himself off from the grass and starts to asses things.</p><p>He’s small, is the first impression. The fingers are too delicate, fingernails uncut and pink. He has no scars at all. His skin is smooth, faintly glimmering under the sunlight and very sensitive.</p><p>…and that’s when he notices that he’s completely stark naked.</p><p>He scrambles up, heading for the leaves that he’s sure he saw before he noticed his lack of clothes. No clothes means no mask and Kakashi is as close to panicking as a jounin his age could get.</p><p>He finds the leaves, two of them large enough to cover him and he hunts around for anything thread-like. Long grasses near the water solves his problem and he threads enough chakra that it weaves thin and durable.</p><p>Years of mending his own clothes make for quick sewing and a quick splash in the water wakes him up even further.</p><p>And Kakashi freezes.</p><p>Because there, in the water is an image of a cute and adorable child, high cheekbones, large and liquid dark eyes, pale skin and pink lips.</p><p>The only thing that reminds him of his old appearance is his hair, so fair that it appeared silvery white. It didn’t defy gravity but fell in graceful waves and actually <em>behaved</em>.</p><p>Kakashi sits down.</p><p>“Fuck,” he mutters, his high childish voice making him flinch. His new ears are more sensitive than his old one, and that’s saying something.</p><p>He could handle being in a younger body and he can handle being displaced and without supplies. He can handle being without a mask, there are substitutes. But the fact is that he doesn’t need it anymore. He doesn’t look like his father anymore.</p><p>“Fucking goddammit,” he adds, just to make himself feel better.</p><p>He takes a breath, stands up, and keeps walking.</p><p>He’ll think on what that implies later, he doesn’t want to have a hysterical break down yet.</p><p>.</p><hr/><p>.</p><p>The berry bushes are Sage-sent and Kakashi is happily eating everything. His new tongue is sensitive to flavors and he’d found a ropey vine that held his hair back. He’d tied it into a high-bun and left it messily around his face. He didn’t care that he’d mussed it, just that no one can use it against him in a fight.</p><p>He’s so busy dealing with lunch that he almost misses the sound of footfalls and the creak of leather.</p><p>He stops chewing for a moment, and then shrugs. It would be just like infiltrating the Daimyo’s castle, except easier. Nobody suspects children.</p><p>He locates the locals and finds them looking remarkably like his new self. He climbs the trees and watches them watering their horses, all three of them. Kakashi had seen horses in his father’s old journals, the lands to the west had them but ninja’s preferred their own feet. It had simply been faster.</p><p>“<em>Someone’s watching us,” </em>the captain says softly, but not soft enough for Kakashi’s newer and sharper ears.</p><p>Kakashi stifles a giggle and drops a pine cone on his head.</p><p>.</p><p>Rumil bites the inside of his cheek when the pinecone landed on his brothers head.</p><p>Haldir’s face, usually an impassive mask, had twitched in irritation. Orophin shifts in his seat, trying not to laugh.</p><p>“<em>Show yourself</em>!” the marchwarden growls.</p><p>High pitched, childish laughter answers the question and amusement is buried in the face of astonishment.</p><p>Three more pinecones are launched with accuracy, all at their heads. Haldir catches his with a scowl, but his eyebrows are frowning with worry. </p><p>“<em>Child, come down,”</em> Rumil tries. “<em>It is not kind to throw pinecones at the marchwarden.”</em></p><p>They wait, and it’s two more waves of pinecones. Haldir has enough and throws back his, causing a yelp. Orophin is laughing almost too hard to catch the child.</p><p>“<em>Suilad!” </em>the child greets, covered in berry juice and wearing leaves.</p><p>“<em>Hello, yourself,”</em> the marchwarden mutters. “<em>And what do you have to say for yourself, youngling?”</em></p><p>The elfling, giggling innocence and wide, adorable eyes, smiles at them. “<em>Ah, oops?”</em></p><p>Rumil doesn’t believe it one bit, having been witness to Lady Arwen growing up.</p><p>Haldir growls, stalking to his horse irritably and mounting.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I just…this was sitting in the prompts thingy for a while and the only thing I could think of was….a trolling, elfling!Kakashi.</p><p>Comments Please!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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